Guess What?

Whatever it is that I hold as my deepest desire or belief, it comes to me, it comes from me. I see the omens everyday.

For my 23rd birthday, I took myself to Paris. For the last three months of 2022, I got the opportunity to live alone for the first time, and made a dear friend by way of her lending me her apartment for that time. Now that I've come upon a similar situation, I'm reflecting on how far I've come. At the time, I was still freelancing like a madman, manifesting checks from what seemed like thin air, and wanted to celebrate my newfound interdependence. I had $500 left for the trip when all was said and done, and stayed with my friend Maëlia for 5 days. We ate, we partied, we saw art, we made art, and we dreamed. It was wonderful. I remember sitting on the floor near her small coffee table, perusing her prized RIHANNA full photo book. We fantasized about working with her one day, my delusions emboldened by my offer to participate in the Savage x Fenty show the year before, although I had to decline. It wasn't a surprise to me that a year or two later I saw her partying on a boat at crop festival with Rihanna, having become an integral videographer for Arya Starr, documenting the glamour of her vision for her life with effervescent fervor.

That is manifestation for you. I've seen it too many times, done it too many times myself. Before I had left for Paris, my friend, let's call her Slim, had wanted to come back to visit. She'd handed me the apartment at the end of it's lease for a good deal so she could pack up and move her life down south, but still had some loose ends to tie up in New York. When she came back, she brought two boys with her, and we all spent fashion week together. One of the boys caught her naturally and the other caught my interest naturally. We both liked music, and talked about what it is to be an artist, and who we were at the time. It was a cute, romantic blip of a moment, elongated for some time into staying up to date over social media. I remember seeing him in the position I am in now, telling me "I know this art is gonna work, because I've been working at it. I just got to stay the course." Crazy enough, he manifested the dream any boy out of Atlanta making music could possibly want. Like a true diamond* in the rough, someone from that mysterious world heard his song, and invited him in. All these manifestations, they're not coincidental. Everything is in sacred synchronicity, happenings happen all the time to give you hints about the path ahead.

A few years ago, when I was still in school, I met a boy named Omavi. Omavi could rap, like really rap. At the time I just liked to sing, I couldn't have ever imagined myself performing my own stuff to a crowd. We would chill in the dorms and freestyle together, and one day he took me to my first cypher. He told me, "If you want to do music, number 1? It's gonna take a long time. I've been doing this for 6 years and it's just starting to make sense. 2? You're way more talented than you think." He encouraged me. He put my vocals on a song that later blew him out the water and away from the path I was on. A year or so later, I had to leave school, but I know we gathered together that day in the yard for one last time, having had a surprise Sunday service by Kanye West when he was running that circuit. Over the years it's nice to see how we've grown, and it's cool that when I met Earl, he knew I was that girl on his track. It's cool that a few years later, instead of Kanye performing for me, I got to perform in front of him. I always liked Send Me Out by Kelela, but what depth and flavor her work holds for me now that I've gotten to let loose w her at some parties. Tyler's music was such an outlet for me in my emo phase, so I wasn't surprised when he came by my job last year and had his peoples invite me to his show that weekend. Since maybe before I knew it, I've been manifesting. I see the omens all the time in full circle moments like that. Yet still it is apart of my doctrine that I desire more and more and that in that desire I receive deeper and can better be my own self.

What do these omens mean? The older I get, the more I realize I know nothing, and in that I can always learn anything. My path and my values are bound to the fact that my mortal flesh is finite, however I am deeply aware of my spiritual conscience, my chi, and that to keep it happy is to live a good life. My desires are simply information about what I must do to keep my chi happy. If those things are glamour, and music, rockstars, and drip, then let me indulge ever further into the path, and set my belief toward a good journey. There's a lot of wealth and happiness in that, especially when I maintain my boundaries, as I know I have my own path to walk that cannot be validated by the perceived powers of any man.

Manifestation is real, and it's happening all the time. Whatever it is that I hold as my deepest desire or belief, it comes to me, it comes from me. I see the omens everyday.